“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his step.” ~Proverbs 16:9
So way back in April, I decided it was time to redo my website in order to make it a better representation of who I am and what I’m all about. Not only was that a tall order in and of itself, but I also decided to make it myself… from scratch…. using a completely different and much more intense system than my first website. And thus began the journey toward making this current website that you are now FINALLY on. 🙂 Turns out that creation and change are a similar process. The great part is that my mistakes are your gain! Ha ha, eh. My hope is that by sharing some of what I went through with you guys, it will a) help you to see that you’re not alone and everybody goes through these struggles in some area of their lives, and b) help you change your mindset & not make the same mistakes in your own fitness journey! So here goes…
Have faith. Everything going wrong doesn’t necessarily mean anything…
I mentioned on Facebook that last Tuesday I had a bit of a meltdown. OK, it was a full on MAJOR meltdown. I was so close to being done with the website, but there were a bunch of little things that just would not go right! I ended up SO frustrated that I literally wanted to walk away. I told Joel that maybe this was just a sign that it’s not meant to be and I should just stick with my old website. Now I was in the throws of an emotional breakdown, but seriously, what a silly way to think. When have you ever heard that you should only do something if it’s always easy and smooth sailing? Even with the best laid plans, vacations, weddings, businesses & fitness programs still run into problems.
The fitness journey is certainly the same way. I used to be stuck in this cycle where I would be really perfect with my eating until I had a couple of bad days. That’s when I would just chuck the rest of the week, eat however I wanted, and start over next the Monday. The problem with this is that I never learned anything that way! And then I’d wonder why I never made any progress!
*The only way to make progress is to stop starting over, and the only way to stop that is to stop quitting. Before you ever start something, consciously clear your mind of any picture perfect scenarios. This is life! There will be bumps in the road – a bad meal, a bad day, or even a couple of bad days – and you will slip up. The only way to improve and move forward is by allowing yourself to go through those tough situations, learning how to work through them, and not giving up!
“The best way out is always through.” ~Robert Frost
Creating a brand new website, building a new business, or getting the physique you want, takes time. I know. I don’t like it either, but it’s the truth. Be very careful not to set unrealistic goals. Remember that even the realistic goals often don’t go as planned. Be ready to be patient and persistent.
Ditch the one track mind
I admit there were a couple of days I went a little overboard with the website. In the name of powering through, I ignored my coach and my husband as I literally sat in front of the computer the ENTIRE day (except for the occasional quick run downstairs for food). By the end of those days, my vision was blurry and I was so fried I had absolutely nothing left for anything or anyone else and I still couldn’t stop thinking about finishing the website.
Looking back on last Tuesday’s meltdown, I realize now that the one track mind did me little favors and was actually a major cause of it. Two things to consider when working towards a specific goal:
#1. It’s been shown that people produce a higher quantity and quality of work when they deliberately take time to rest and recover. In The Power of Full Engagement they say it’s not just resting, but actively disengaging from work and deliberately shifting your attention from achievement to restoration. Your body works the same way. You can’t continuously break it down, never give it any rest or recovery, and then expect to keep making gains. Running it into the ground day after day rarely achieves the goal, is itself unsustainable, and is certainly no way to live. Set up specific times for rest and rejuvenation. Take leisure walks. Get enough sleep. Learn when to push and when to back off. These things are just as important as the work part, if not more so!
#2. The one track mind is a gateway to the mindset that if you could just have this one thing then everything would be better, perfect, easier, etc. We all know that’s not true, but this is such a sneaky little thought that creeps in without us even noticing. Time away and actively disengaging from the project or goal at hand allows for reality and perspective to take hold. There’s more to life than your waist measurement or how you look in a swimsuit. Your life won’t be perfect and all your problems will not be solved by attaining the perfect body.
Now I’m not saying that there aren’t appropriate times to dig in and power through. What I am saying is that whether you’re creating or changing, this stuff takes time. Be careful when determining timelines!! Added stress and pressure never help anything so relax a little! Your life is not on hold until you get there. Your life is happening right now. Don’t let the one goal so consume you that you miss all the other victories you’ve already achieved and all the other important things in your life.
And if you really want something, stop starting over. Keep going. Through the days where it feel like you’re soaring and the days where it feels like you’re trudging through the mud. You will get there….but it’s still not the end-all be-all. 😉
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” -Michael Jordan