SO, a lot has happened since my last blog over a year ago. I took a break from the online world. My little family picked up and moved half way across the country. I’ve met lots of new friends and got a new job. AND my body is currently working on making our little family a little less…. little. 🙂
The thing is I’ve been wanting to get back to blogging for a while now, but it wasn’t until just recently that I started noticing some self talk that went a little something like this: “I want to get back into writing but it’s been so long now! I can’t just….start it back up. People keep asking about the pregnancy. I should blog about that….but I’m already halfway through. It’d be weird to start now.”
I know it doesn’t really make any sense, but I think this is part of what was holding me back. Some weird idea that people care that much that they are going to sit there and judge me on how long it’s been since I last wrote.
The worst part is I realized that mindset had managed to bleed into a number of areas in my life and it was really affecting my thoughts and my actions. That’s when I knew I had to shut that down and just start. After all, who cares how long it’s been?! If it’s something you want to do, if it’s important to you, then go do it! Do it right now!!
So here I am. Writing my first pregnancy update at 22 weeks pregnant. 🙂
First and foremost, I’ve realized that even though many friends, clients, and family members have had babies, it turns out I knew surprisingly little about pregnancy. Ha ha. One of the first lessons I have learned is this:
Comparison is futile.
Surprise, surprise. 😉
At the beginning I kept trying to figure out exactly how much weight I should be gaining each week and googling if this and that was normal and looking at where other women were. But the longer I went and the more stories I heard, the more I realized that there is very little that can be pointed to as “this is what every pregnancy is like”.
I actually have two family members and two friends who are also pregnant right now and we are all due within a 5 month span! Considering that a lot of my friends are already past this stage, I’m absolutely delighted to be going through this with some really good friends. But it’s also been kinda funny because each one of us seems to be having a pretty different experience.
So it’s been a process and a bit of a fight at times, but I think I’m getting better at just trying to take it all in and enjoy MY first experience with this.
For me, that looks like nausea and fatigue setting in at about 8 weeks. Nausea came and went throughout the day, but was pretty constant at night. There were many nights I didn’t get off the couch at all. Thank you Lord for my awesome husband!
I never had any really strong aversions to meat like a lot of women do. Sure it didn’t sound as appetizing as usual, but I could still eat it. My biggest aversion was actually to water. I really struggled to drink water during the first trimester which is probably why I craved smoothies and juicy fruits like oranges, watermelon, and pineapple. That and sweets…and ALL the peanut butter. 😀
I also did not realize just how much your digestion slows down!! And wow, it took me many, many tummy aches to finally realize that I couldn’t eat anywhere close to what I was used to eating.
My workouts definitely started to take a hit around that time as well. I really hoped I’d be one of those women that just continued doing everything she was doing before, (and I got my hopes up when I was still rocking normal workouts at the 7 week mark) but then lifting weights got really tough. My strength felt like it had evaporated over night. It honestly felt like I could feel my energy draining with each rep. It would take me an hour to get through what normally would have taken me 15-20 minutes, with the other 40 minutes spent laying on the floor trying to convince myself to get up and do the next exercise! So I kept cutting back the weight and cutting back the weight until I finally had to give up the weights and just stick to a few bodyweight exercises (a few times a week) and walking.
I wish I would have known that was normal to begin with. I probably would have gone a little easier on myself and enjoyed it up a little more, but I definitely struggled with some guilt for not being the healthiest, fittest prego. There a number of pregnant women at the gym that have continued to rock their workouts and I had heard about how “you have all this extra motivation now to do it for your child!”…. Yeah, not me. (And I’m back to my first lesson.)
I’ve had to let go of a lot of expectations and preconceived notions, but that just makes me extra thankful for all the work God had done on me and my mindset around my health and body leading up to this. Also for the fact that He is sovereign and I can trust that He is knitting this little one together exactly as He had planned from the beginning of time.
Now that I’m in the second trimester, I’m happy to report that at about 14 weeks my nausea faded and my energy increased. I walk daily and get 2-3 strength training sessions a week. I have been able to add weights back in but at about half the intensity and weight I was doing before. But I’m just thankful I feel good enough to do that!
I’ve definitely lost a lot of strength and I’ve gotten a little softer and bigger just about everywhere between my shoulders and my knees. And I’ve struggled with finding what moderation looks like for me during pregnancy. Everyone is more than willing to give me a free pass to do and eat whatever I want, but I know that that’s not what will really make me feel my best mentally or physically. On the other hand, I want to honor the signals my body is sending me and trust that it’ll tell me what it needs in order to best grow and nourish our little human.
Overall, it has been is a really good time of reflection and practicing preaching truth to myself. Truth about the value of discipline, but also truths about what’s really important and where my value and worth really lie.
My body is creating life within it right now!! I know every pregnant woman likes to point that out, but I never really felt the weight of it until now and it is truly amazing. So what if my butt seems to be trying to keep up with my stomach! Ha ha!
For those who have been asking me if I’m showing and also those who tell me I’m not, here’s a pic from last week….
And to end, some non-health, fitness, mindset related stuff:
- My innie belly button is still that…for the time being. 😉
- I’ve learned that peeing all the time isn’t just for the end stages where the baby is resting on your bladder.
- I’m now having to choose my yoga pants for work based on how long I’ll be there. I save my stretchiest pants for the longer days. So, all the mamas reading, what were your fave brands for maternity clothing/activewear?
- I’m just now starting to get a little more uncomfortable sleeping. Boo. 🙁
- 20 weeks is when I really started feeling baby kick. It’s also when we found out that it’s a BOY!
So there you have it! There’s so much to look forward to and yet so much that one could easily stress and worry about. I recently saw a post on instagram from Michelle Myers. She suggested that whenever you catch yourself thinking, “how am I going to do this?”, turn it around and say, “I can’t wait to see how God does this!”. I LOVE this so much and it’s been a very helpful practice for me over the last few months. 🙂
And just like, BAM! First blog is done.